Yahoo! Answers: Search for
Yahoo! Answers: Search for
- Open Question: What about old black people?
(Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:47:18 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Aren't they gonna feel terrible this election cycle?
What, with the racist slurs and retirement home jokes that are bound to go around...
- Open Question: Question about the So-called Wrestling God!?
(Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:08:50 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
I have to admit that when Bradshaw first morphed into JBL, I hated the role. In time I saw the value in his heel character he had some decent matches with Eddie, Undertaker, and yes he even had a great "I quit" match with Cena. Flash forward to 2008, so far all of his matches have been a joke, could they not of found somebody else to job to Cena ?
In my opnion I thought he was one of the best color commentator's that Smackdown! has ever had. So my question is why would WWE take JBL out of ret
- Voting Question: our family is poor, my brothers new fiance is VERY WELATHY, they are having a wedding in a fancy?
(Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:19:49 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
expensive ritzy mountain town about 300 miles away. none of us can afford to go. her whole family is going becuase they are VERY RICH! he is mad and says we dont care even though one of our family members i homeless, im a single mom with no job milking my retirement dry, my mom is disabled and BROKE AS A JOKE and my other sister is a single mom with 2 kids and a van that doesnt run well. He is all mad and about to disown us cuase we cant go. yet he says " jessicas family is going" well they a
- Open Question: Shelton Benjamin question!?!?
(Fri, 30 May 2008 04:08:43 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
O.K. i know everybody are sick of these "Shelton Benjamin needs a push" questions,but it's true Benjamin truely needs a major push he's been in the WWE,since 2003 right,and he's been stuck between the position of a Jobber & a Mid-Carder for years,and i for one am pretty damn sick of it.Benjamin's got charisma,mic skills,mat skills,and he's so athletic the WWE is turning him into a complete joke i mean he's been into the company for 5 years,and for what going from the mid-card section-to-being
- Resolved Question: Interview Joke =]?
(Thu, 29 May 2008 09:44:41 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The
- Voting Question: I am bored at work.?
(Tue, 27 May 2008 22:42:02 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
I work 40 hours a week. but in reality my work is 5 to 10 hours a week. I get depressed. feel worthless. I like to be busy and help people. I am 50 years old and don't want to change jobs. because I will have good retirement here. chatrooms are blocked from our computers. I can't leave the office, because I will lose my parking space and it is very hard to find parking spot around here. I keep emailing friends and sending them jokes. but still I am bored. This situation has been for 5 years. I
- Resolved Question: What do you think of this aricle about the inbalance in employment?
(Tue, 27 May 2008 11:31:40 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Employment law is another area of concern, with such problems as unequal treatment around parental leave, retirement age, and pension entitlements. They also assert sexual harassment policies are de facto directed against the male style of inappropriate sexual behaviour in the workplace, while ignoring the female style of inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. Others assert that many sexual harassment laws restrict men's basic freedoms, and cause men to be constantly on edge[citation needed
- Resolved Question: ok a couple off older jokes about teens are these funny?
(Wed, 21 May 2008 11:53:41 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!"
"I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad.
"You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble."
"What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake."
"I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
How to Handle Teens
A w
- Voting Question: What's a good retirement gift for my 75 year old boss?
(Sat, 17 May 2008 00:49:37 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
One of the owners of my company has sold his interest in the company and we're having a retirement party for him in June. I am wondering what, if anything, to get him? I worked relatively closely with him over my 8 years at the company.
A little description of him..... He is probably the nicest, most compassionate man alive. He loves to joke around and is the friendliest person you've ever met. His hobbies include traveling to the Florida keys and gardening.
If you have any ideas for an ap
- Resolved Question: Why horse racing needs to change policy especially after the Filly Eight Belles death?
(Wed, 07 May 2008 14:59:53 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
"The horse racing industry causes thousands of horses to be born only to be slaughtered or abandoned to an existence of neglect, starvation, and suffering. There are three reasons for
this:
1. Very large numbers must be produced annually to generate a few fast ones to be selected to compete. Of the many thousands bred to race, very few make the grade. The rest must be disposed of.
2. During training or racing, injuries are common. Injured horses are also euthanized or sold from one owner to
- Voting Question: 2008 tax rebate?
(Wed, 07 May 2008 00:25:48 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
I see that the irs has turned their back on people who who received Unemployment benefits. In 2007 i was on Unemployment for about 10 months and worked about 2 months before the end of the year. My old shop I worked at for 3 years making good money with closed down due to poor job economy and outsourcing in michigan thanks to Jennifer Granholm. Then I qualified for 12 months of unemployment and sadly had to use all 12 months, I had applications in everywhere with no luck. Even minimum wage job
- Resolved Question: Funny Jokes for you guys....................Read..............................................................
(Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:21:26 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward m
- Resolved Question: What happens to retired legendary explorers? (joke)?
(Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:05:11 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled. The tiger leapt toward
- Voting Question: Is it practical to begin studying for a career in Acupuncture or Massage Therapy at the age of 40?
(Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:51:16 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
I am forty years old (41 in July) and live in a borough outside of NYC. I currently am a Civil Servant and work in City Government in a terribly boring clerical/administrative position as a Records Dept. Supervisor in the Office of Personnel Services. My salary is a joke at $48K but I have job security, a pension, 401K plan, 457 plan, Vision, Dental, and Health Insurance not subsidized from my payckeck. I have a BBA for Industrial Pyschology but no other degrees or training and I feel like a
- Resolved Question: FUNNY JOKE...CliCK HERE!!!?
(Mon, 21 Apr 2008 01:23:09 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
well theres this man ,bob, who is in his late 80's at the retirement home..his good friend paul had died the year before and paul said if he were to die first,hed come back somehow and tell bob what its like in "heaven"
so one night in bobs dream,paul came to him
bob was completley extatic asking paul all kinds of questions
paul then mentioned to bob the reason he came was because he had good news and bad news
bob asked him for the good news first so paul said
"you know theres even a baseba
- Voting Question: cute and funny joke at the same time ...CLICK HERE?
(Sun, 20 Apr 2008 07:41:03 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Ok well theres this man ,bob, who is in his late 80's at the retirement home..his good friend paul had died the year before and paul said if he were to die first,hed come back somehow and tell bob what its like in "heaven"
so one night in bobs dream,paul came to him
bob was completley extatic asking paul all kinds of questions
paul then mentioned to bob the reason he came was because he had good news and bad news
bob asked him for the good news first so paul said
"you know theres even a bas
- Resolved Question: Where can I find the Lacy vs. Calzaghe fight?
(Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:05:45 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Jeff Lacy is a joke......power??...... he fights like Tyson???.......Please!!!! Calzaghe gave that chump the beating of his life. I hope Calzaghe puts Hopkins into retirement. I never got to see the beating and I wanna see it so I can laugh through the whole thing. Im not going to lie I thought Calzaghe was going to get beat, but it was all hype!!!! GO CALZAGHE!!!!!
- Resolved Question: 2 big spoilers for wwe's future?
(Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:33:23 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
WWE Raw kicks off tonight with the usual pyro explosions as Jim Ross welcomes to the Times Union Center in Albany, New York.
- Lilian Garcia is in the ring introducing RAW General Manager William Regal.
Regal introduces Orton's opponent for Backlash, who he calls the most deserving #1 contender in WWE history, JBL. JBL's limo pulls up to the ramp and out comes the self proclaimed Wrestling God.
JBL comes to the ring and extends his hand to Randy Orton for a shake. Orton doesn't return th
- Resolved Question: Life should have a happier ending.. What do you think? (joke)?
(Fri, 11 Apr 2008 01:05:29 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, You get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine
- Resolved Question: I have a strong urge to live on a sailboat...what should I do?
(Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:19:01 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
This question is not a joke!
I'm broke and ready for change...and I keep having visions of myself sailing around the world with my crew. But I don't have a crew, a boat, or the know-how!!
Is this just a good retirement plan, or can I make it into something realistic?
- Resolved Question: Do you like this very funny but a little dirty joke?
(Tue, 08 Apr 2008 09:26:12 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a
- Resolved Question: Alright all you political pundits and know it alls, pull out your crystal balls, tarot cards, tea leaves and.?
(Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:03:19 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
any other implement you use to predict the future. Let's roll the bones.
Which party wins the white house?
Which party gains seats in the senate? It's forty nine, forty nine and two independents at the moment, with five republican seats up for grabs due to retirements and a total of twenty three while the democrats have no open seats and only twelve up for re-election.
My guesses. Dems take the white house and gain three seats in congress.
OK, let the guesses and thumbs fly.
Ironically Ya
- Resolved Question: Wouldn't it be easier to live life backwards? (joke)?
(Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:12:05 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
The Life Cycle
I think the life cycle is all backwards
You should start out dead and get it out of the way.
Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.
You go to primary schoo
- Resolved Question: Here is a very gross joke but a funny one??do you like it??funny or not?
(Sat, 15 Mar 2008 08:06:44 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
("And than they saw a 20 year old hottie passing them..")
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
GIMME A STAR!! if you like it..
the 1st answerer looks like
- Resolved Question: An old people joke?
(Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:07:43 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
An old man in a retirement home was sitting in a chair when this old lady walks up to him, lifts her dress, and yells "Super Pussy!"
The old man says.."I'll have the soup"
vgghcfgh...well, that wasn't very nice.
Lighten up, life is short.
PS The thumbs down isn't from me, so apparently someone else doesn't think you're nice either.
- Resolved Question: will Obama solve your home, education and health issues?
(Thu, 06 Mar 2008 21:08:05 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Many Americans are now losing their biggest assest, real estate, they are using their retirement plans, they cannot afford even the basics, forget about healthcare or education, the new generation will be a MTV educated crowd, thanks to the patrotic Americans who supported war, forget about political parties, have we win the war? is there anything good about it? Support your trops by saving them for a useless death. Rise your voice and speak up, do not accept high prices, Bush clearly said, if
- Resolved Question: Old man jokes?
(Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:22:06 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a new born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitch
- Resolved Question: brett favre aftermath of retirement?
(Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:35:35 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
I would love to see brett favre in the nfl studios on fox alongside terry, howie, jimmy and other guy (name eludes me at the moment). all they do is talk football and joke around, i would love to have that job. i can see him doing it. wouldnt that be awesome. i hope he doesnt abandon nfl football. hes such a great character!! much love from the heart of wisconsin
- Resolved Question: Is this old people joke funny?
(Sun, 02 Mar 2008 19:00:55 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Two old ladies were sitting on rocking chairs in their retirement home. One asked, "Do you still ever get horny?"
"Oh, yes!" was the reply.
"What do you do about it?" asked the first.
"I suck on a lifesaver." was the reply.
The first lady sat there for a long while pondering the answer. Finally she couldn't stand it any longer, and asked,
"Who drives you to the beach?"
Thanks for the star if you chuckled.
yes, some people refer to lifeguards as lifesavers.
- Resolved Question: Joke ~ What happened?
(Sat, 01 Mar 2008 02:08:58 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Norita and Irene, two elderly widows in a retirement village are curious about the latest arrival in their building, a quiet, nice-looking gentleman who keeps to himself.
Norita says, "Irene, you know I'm shy. Why don't you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely."
Irene agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, "Excuse me, mister, I hope I'm not prying, but my friend Norita and I were wondering why you look so lonely."
"Of
- Resolved Question: 3 Old Ladies. Joke. Joke. Joke.?
(Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:28:22 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home, reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're
- Resolved Question: Which Presidential Candidate called a popular retirement community "Seizure World" ?
(Mon, 25 Feb 2008 14:12:23 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
This candidate referred to the Leisure World retirement community as "Seizure World", where "97 percent of the people vote and the other 3 percent are in intensive care," a joke whose offense he made worse, as he later conceded, when he did not forthrightly apologize for it.
Who was it? Inquiring minds want to know?
http://www.azcentral.com/news/specials/mccain/articles/0301mccainbio-chapter1.html
- Resolved Question: Last one for the night......Joke...????
(Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:30:17 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.
After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a near-by city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.
Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away.
"There's just one problem," explained
- Resolved Question: Joke:How did (now ex)president clinton prepared for debate?
(Mon, 11 Feb 2008 19:24:54 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
1.Engaging drive-thru guy in heated "Big Mac vs. Arch Deluxe" debate .
2.Examining "Happy Days" reruns to see how the Fonz stayed cool under pressure.
3.Pulling strings to make sure audience is full of "chicks" who "want him".
4.Memorizing every word of "Stairway to Heaven" in case he runs out of stuff to say.
5.Changing daily routine from: smoke pot, nail hookers, to: nail hookers, smoke pot.
6.Visiting retirement homes and picking fights with old guys.
7.Growing his sideburns and dusting off
- Resolved Question: Is John McCain funny? He calls a retirement community as "Seizure World",?
(Fri, 08 Feb 2008 19:49:00 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Where "97 percent of the people vote and the other 3 percent are in intensive care,"[78] a joke whose offense he made worse, as he later conceded, when he did not forthrightly apologize for it.[
- Resolved Question: Joke "The Elderly Golfer"?
(Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:25:29 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. 'That's it', he tells his wife. I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad... once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went.'
His wife sympathizes. As they sit down she says, 'Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it one more try'.
'That's no good', sighs Arthur. 'Your brother is a hundred and three. He can't help'.
'He may be a hundred and th
- Resolved Question: Is This Featured Story On Yahoo News Today A Joke Or What?
(Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:24:41 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
http://finance.yahoo.com/retirement/article/104258/How-to-Make-a-Million
I found it quite simple but unrealistic and very long-term. Im about 35 so it assumes I already have $50,000 in savings, what? I wish. I've worked since age 15 and I currently have about 1/5 that in savings. Im now in the 35k-40k gross annual net income bracket, but for many years I never made more than 25k gross in a year. I also supported my mother until she died last year because she had no pension from her employer o
- Resolved Question: Last Joke for the day,,,,,,hahaha or boo!!!??? Star for hahaha pls?
(Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:29:42 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor.
At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame deGaulle: "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"
"A penis," replied Madame deGaulle.
A huge
- Resolved Question: aging explorer joke..?
(Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:37:27 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
The Aging Explorer
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.
The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had
- Resolved Question: Canadian Retirement Fund?
(Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:15:08 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
a few years ago I began saving Canadian coins, mostly out of a like for coins and the local practice of tossing them in the trash. I jokingly called it the Canadian Retirement fund, as a joke and purported it to be the easiest way to acquire a retirement based, minimal yes, but it was a joke. Now, however, the exchange rate is near 1 to 1 and this useless currency has a value. How easy is it to exchange foreign currency, and do you think the loon could still rise even more? Yes, this is bo
- Resolved Question: an old joke but still makes me smile!!plzzz...star!?
(Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:20:51 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of MIT, "What starting salary were you thinking about?"
The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years ?? say, a red Cor
- Voting Question: I'm gonna quit my damn job!?
(Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:40:30 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
We had our annual dept. meeting today and my
manager smiled and told us that everyone is going
to get a 1% raise in their salary. (Yay!..Yea right)
And for those who commit 11+ yrs to the company
he said are likely to be considered for retirement
plans, which we don't currently own. What a joke!
I personally spend 14+ hrs working everyday, no
weekends, and I travelled 300+ days out of the
entire year in 2007. So this is what they are offering?
- Resolved Question: I am back to level 2 again, went to level 1 for posting too many jokes?
(Thu, 13 Dec 2007 11:07:08 GMT)
Retirement jokes :
Sorry only 1 joke a day until I build up my points, for many of you that will be a good thing lol........
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.
"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad that once I'd hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."
His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and giv
|